this boner is exhausting
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
