Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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