I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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