youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
