her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
