Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
