I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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