I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
