ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i drank out of a bidet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
