im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
