You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
