I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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