so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
