So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
