guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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