if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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