we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
