yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
