planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
