Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
