Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
