Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
