He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I will pee on everything he values.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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