so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
