her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
