I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We had to coat check the pizza.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
