So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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