Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
