i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
