just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
