Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
