they need to just BURY HIM!
smell my finger.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize