What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
