do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
