In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
