i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
