But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
