You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
