well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
