don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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