State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
