Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
