the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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