she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
