I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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