I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
