FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
