I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
