Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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