Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
